This picture was taken in the lobby at the infusion clinic when the kids came to visit. They stepped out of the clinic and their spirits immediately lifted, their faces bright and alive after being in a chemo infusion center. All around them were tropical plants, plants that are seen in yards in our neighborhood, some even at the front of our house. It was like if a US Midwesterner had been in a desert and walked around a corner and saw daisies, marigolds, zinnias, and tulips. I asked them curiously, “What are you thinking?”. One kid said, “It feels like home!” Joy and grief were evident in the same moment.
Our original return date for Thailand came and went like a flash. For better or for worse I am seeing all the “back to school” posts for our friends and community back in Thailand. We were not there to greet our friends who returned to Asia after a year away…
The grief from this whole situation can be heavy at times, excruciating even in some moments.
Round 4 chemo, Monday 8/7, went very well. Chris is a master at letting his body rest after the Benadryl and he sleeps through much of it, especially since we continue to be gifted with a private room. The Nurse Practitioner said that his PET scan was “perfection”. It is amazing that after just three treatments the PET scan could not find any cancer remaining! In addition, his blood work was perfect! It was the first time in this whole journey that the entire blood panel was normal! JOY!
We rejoice over how well Chris is- during his chemo journey and the progress seen in the PET scan, but that does not negate the grief that is felt.
Joy and grief can exist in the same space, it is a special kind of tension.
Jesus shared vulnerably with his disciples: in this world you will have trouble…I have overcome the world (John 16:33). In the midst of the trouble there can be, there is overcoming. The One who overcame came in the trouble. There is no amount of trouble that can prevent his overcoming. This overcoming may not be when we want it or how we would prefer it. I can imagine that the disciples felt this tension when they realized that the Messiah had come (joy!) , but not quite to their preferences (grief!).
Lord, help us live out the joy of your overcoming, even if it is not to our preferences.
Lord, be our comforter as we grieve, as we mourn, in the midst of indescribable joy.
“Joy and grief can exist in the same space…a special kind of tension.” You nailed it. Thank you for taking the time to write down your reflections and share with others (even someone unknown to you, like me). May our loving Lord continue to meet you in both of those places, and everywhere in between.
You are so, so right. Joy and grief can exist in the same space
The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.
First time I went to an aquarium after Kenya I sobbed — grief over the loss of access to that world through snorkeling, but it represented so much more loss. I feel with you! May God comfort you and continue giving precious gifts here!
Our only true joy was secured in the deepest, most horrific sorrow.
Though satan should buffet, though trials should come. Let this blest assurance control:
that Christ has regarded our helpless estate and has shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
Spafford/Bliss. public domaine
Dear Lord, haste the day. Until then, we Praise Your Holy Hame for the healing and encouragement you are to Chris, Becca, their children–and to each of us who are so grateful to be able to pray for them. For Chris’ promised healing we glorify your Name.
Lord, please continue with joy and peace in the midst of suffering so that even through Chris’s challenge, he can acknowledge You to be the Lord and give You praise. Continue to comfort Chris and the family , to sustain them in accord with Your good pleasure.
And we ALL need this in our own lives. Amen.
I was pleasantly surprised at how the kids have grown since we last saw them! You have 2 young men and a young lady now. May their adjustments to school go well … will pray for friends and “fun” for them at school such that they look forward to going each day. And we cannot stop thanking God for the good He is working in Chris’ body!
All praise to the One and Only Mighty God, who sees you, knows you and cares intimately about you. All glory and thanks to Him for His healing upon Chris’s body. This is Him at work. May His name continue to be glorified and honored as this story turns into history.
I love the fun they are having in the waiting room/lobby space; it’s always great to see pictures. Miss you all and am praying with you in the transitions.
Often times in our loss comes our greatest gain of how our Lord uses us. Prayers continue for you and your family.
I totally understand that tension between joy and grief you described, Becca! We have often lived our lives in that “space”! It is a part of experiencing Romans 8:28!
I love seeing the photos of your kids, especially the last one with their personalities showing ☺️
We love you all 5 ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
and continue to pray for Chris’s healing and for all of you!
Love and blessings,
Aunt Shelley
Love how you share straight from your heart! You have raised some amazing kids and God will provide for them as they go on this great adventure here.
Praising God for the healing in Chris and as HE continues to be your healer, provider, and as HE continues to strengthen you all in and through this.
We love you all so much ❤️🥰💕
Uncle Doug & Aunt Dawn
We appreciate your thoughts and insights and we thank God for your good news! I had an unforgettable hour in the lobby of Lemmen Holton after my cancer treatment years ago; a pianist played hymns and carols that, in the midst of experiencing grief, were soul comforting and healing for me. We continue to pray for you.
Great news! So glad Chris is doing so much better. Erica and I have been praying. Thank you, Lord!
Great news! Thanks for telling us what you’re experiencing! I can really relate to the loss of community! We don’t know how long God has us in the place He has brought us…These verse occurred to me as I read your reflections:
“Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.”
JER 29:5-7 (NLT)
Thank you for this very good reminder. Also the words, “perfection” and “normal” were so good to hear in terms of Chris’ health. I continue to pray for all of you.
Awesome to hear such amazing results from the PET scan. Go Chris’ body – PTL for His healing work.
What a great report for Chris – so thankful with you! Praying you can return to God’s work in Thailand soon…it will be HIS perfect timing! Praying for patience, growth, contentment, continued healing and joy as you wait…
So encouraging to read about Chris’’ health
So realistic to read about the Childrens feelings
Praying you all have continued encounters with Jesus on your journey and be surprised at some of the unexpected things Jesus has in store for you
Even Jesus wept
Tension, paradox, we are expanded in the waiting… So love you guys and miss you. Each day a gift and there’s loss.
Holding the tension with you.
love
Wendy
Prayed for you today as you grieve and rejoice! Look forward to seeing you soon.